Some people may never truly understand what you are living through, give yourself permission to protect your energy. It’s not optional, it’s essential
When your person died, whether you knew it was coming or not, the life that you knew so well fell away in an instant leaving you in the stony silence of grief and sorrow. It’s hard for people who have not suffered such wretched trauma to understand the shock and the horror that is now your new existence and it seems even harder for them to understand that there is no set timeframe to being frozen in grief’s icy grip (and we wouldn’t wish this understanding on our worst enemy now, would we?)
You’ve lost your ‘person,’ what do you do to cope?
1. Don’t Drive on Empty
One thing you may find helpful is to begin to observe any signs that your ‘tank’ is in the red. You may dip in and out of reserves through a single day or you may be in the ‘red’ for weeks, months, or even years. Without judgement, invite yourself to learn what you might need when you are running low so you can hit the breaks and refuel
2. Ration your Energy
Give yourself a moment to explore how much energy you have available to you. Always starting with yourself (you can’t fill from an empty cup, don’t waste your energy trying), prioritise what is needed to get through a set period of time (could be an hour, a week, the school holidays, a significant date etc). The most important thing here is to be kind to yourself, set guilt-free achievable targets and give yourself permission to sack off anything that is not a top priority
3. Be a Fearless Guardian of your Peace
You had no choice when your life, and everything you ever thought was certain, was whipped away from you. Shellshocked and heartbroken you’ve found yourself standing in the rubble of your old life- YOU DESERVE SOME FREAKING PEACE. People and society won’t always understand this part, so you need to dig deep into those energy reserves and maintain your boundaries. It’s hard when you are depleted but you get back what you put in tenfold and those are the kind of returns you deserve
Free Healing Meditation